as a keeper of information, especially paper information, when i am struck with something that i don't even know how to classify; i'm thrown into a bit of a conundrum. when the information is within my own head and i still fumble with the filing, it becomes increasingly frustrating. recently i gained a bit of information, knowledge if you will regarding a coworker. this tidbit floated around in the unkempt space with all of those other random facts for some weeks. i couldn't get it to settle down and find it's place. do i put it in the 'i feel sorry for her category', the 'she should have known better and i should just get over it category', or the 'what am i doing not helping people like that because they have bad role models and don't know any better so i'd better get out there and make something of myself right now' category. after awhile another coworker discovered this information as well, she knew where to file it right away. she said 'i feel sorry for the outcome'. my confused system found a folder for the file quickly. she was right, why was i beating myself up over the action when it's the consequence that will suffer, and instead of changing an already determined factor, why not make an attempt on the innocent and defenseless? if an untainted mind and soul can be spared from a lifetime of poor examples, then that's where my heart should lay. i should have few qualms about letting the determined demise themselves. this is all i have to say about it. it disgusts me, yet it inspires me to be more. tomorrow; the wind!

<------ the UT marching band, PHEnomenal. i don't know what they played, but they could sure march!

ok. the scoop. as many of you know, there were rocky beginnings here in Minneapolis. i was working with one temping agency, and that didn't work out as their clients were less than savory and boneheads for the most part. i began working for dolphin staffing in march. i am still working there as the Human Resources Assistant. if it's paper or needs a procedure, it's probably mine. it took some time for me to get comfortable and start to get to know people. but little by little things happened, and there was need to talk. i identify very well with Emily. she was working in HR, but right around the time i was hired she was promoted to a staffing consultant for the medical staffing company within dolphin family group. (it's a very confusing company, and all of that paperwork........bleck). anyhow, we still worked very closely together, in terms of physical distance; her office was a mere ten feet from the desk where i sit. so we got to know each other more and more. she decided to return to wisconsin and take advantage of parental rent rates (by which i mean zero, we are very privileged children) in order to pursue her true passion; Opera. she has a master's degree in operatic performance and wants to give it the mature try. she's moving along since she left. well, she comes from a large family, six children to be exact, and she is the second youngest. the youngest is a boy. he lives in Atlanta, GA. he works in the oil industry. he came to wisconsin for a week to help their parents move and ended up coming up to Mpls to help Emily move. i also helped Emily move. i ended up going to Potosi, WI for the weekend to help move some more. we hit it off right away. according to Cingular i spent more than 6000 minutes on the phone in the month of september, thank the satellites for unlimited mobile to mobile calling. this past weekend, Emily and i both traveled to GA to visit and to venture to the University of Tennessee to watch a less than impressive team win on a missed field goal; giving the Vols a shot at bowling. but the highlight of the weekend of course was not the crowd's eruption when the pigskin veered left, but the simplicity of sitting on the coach next to him and not having to talk. after 6000+ minutes, frankly, i was running out of things to say! his name is Jake. he says the right thing at the right time, he will take me to a Shakespeare play on Saturday and throw the frisbee with me on Sunday.

now. i know that some of you are wondering about this mystery man that i have been talking to since i left Thailand. we have agreed to be friends. when i told him that i have met somebody else and he shouldn't wait for me anymore, he said 'i only want you to be happy'. the perfect gentleman as always.

yes, our eyes are black, i find it more spooky than the red. but he insisted that i 'am so beautiful' you won't notice. so stop staring and look at how happy i am! (and relieved, all those minutes to find out it wouldn't work would have been most uh...disappointing, depressing, devastating.)